Reflections

My law school frat, Confraternitas Justitiae or the Knights, treated us to dinner Friday night. Had fun.

The event reeked of déjà vu. We’ve clearly been there before. Just last year and some years back, we were the ones hosting dinner for those who passed. Was I glad I was in the present scene.

-- *** ---

After dinner, my co-passers went out for coffee. From afar, one could read excitement written all over our faces as we crossed the street. Why?

Because I just got a copy of the Suggested Answers to the 2006 Bar Examinations published by the Philippine Association of Law Schools (PALS). You see, we took it upon ourselves not to look at the questions after the exams. With the results now out, we were all convinced it was time to check how (or why? :-)) we passed.

And boy, were we glad not to have taken the slightest peek on the questions. Some of them we can’t even immediately remember. Some were vaguely familiar and we cannot recall how we answered. And for the controversial questions that have been haunting us even in our dreams, some we got correctly, some we totally missed.

If we took the bar exams from those who provided the answers, we could have failed. But of course, we knew we could not have answered the way they did. They had all the time in the world to conduct research and compose and edit their responses.

I surmise that the examiners were patient enough in reading through our booklets. I guess the major reason we passed is because the examiners graded our performance as a whole and not based on major blunders alone.

My biggest nightmare had always been on the premise that I had undeniably wrong answers – answers that if read on their lonesome would make me look so stupid I would be a disgrace to the bar. That my other answers were considered and thus redeemed me is something that I should really be thankful for.

-- ***--

The drive home became reflection time for me. These thoughts uncontrollably rushed in:

1. At one point, one has to confront his fears.

2. The rendezvous could lead only two ways: you are relieved you did right or disappointed to know that you were right in getting worried.

3. But after all is said and done, everything is in the past. Either you continue wallowing in self-indulgence or free yourself from your ghosts.

Recalling our hearty laughs after checking how we fared in the exams made me wish life could go fast-forward.

I dream of the day when just like what we did Friday night, I would find myself reading through my life-blog and after browsing through angst-ridden pages, I’d simply smile at the mistakes I’ve done.

And then move on.